Few days back I had the opportunity to visit the holy city of Banaras / Varanasi /kashi with my family…this was the first time that I was travelling to the city of kashi vishwanath and all I had with me were snippet of clichés that everybody expects from banaras …i.e. ganga, Ghats,firangs looking to get stoned , the paan, the thugs(not the English one but the hindi one) and the famous B.H.U..Sadly I couldn’t see any of these because of the dearth of time…but what I did see was kashi vishwanath temple which was the focal point of our visit plus I got a taste of the delicacy of the local area called litti -chhokha ...and it was from a hawker not from some posh restaurant …I felt like one of those food show host cum critic savoring the real taste of the delicacy.
The journey was pleasing …though I was not in the best of health and irritated about travelling in the first place but still the company was good and got us to our destination …we had this doctor travelling with us who was really looking forward to sharing all his medical knowledge with everybody .. Thanks to him I got to know what I had was no common cough, cold and body ache rather a severe case of viral hemorrhagic fever. Thanks doc for the knowledge! So this knowledge kept me awake for a considerable time that night and adding to that was an uncle ji wide awake throughout the night reading sundarkaand paath and in between trying to charge his mobile in your compartment.
Banaras is not a big city neither is it a small town but it has this blend of the two .At one point you can be disgusted by the sights and sounds of the place on the other you can see malls shooting out of the city.
Kashi vishwanath is a temple dedicated to shiv ji and has devotees coming from all four directions. Its location reminded me of the galis of chawri bazaar and chandni chowk,the same maze like path sucking you deep into them, the same congestion and still businesses flourishing in them. It was in a way sad to see that the vendors have altered their product with respect to the firangis who flock benaras in a large number .the first shop leading to the alley is of a man selling cream rolls, pastries and what not…lame yet weird .we were advised not to take any mobiles and cameras to the place as the security would confiscate it and they were right. The security seemed vigilant. The first temple was of Annapurna and though we didn’t go inside but there was this note outside that caught me off guard …in three languages except Hindi it was written that anybody belonging to religion other than Hinduism is not welcomed...Why such nepotism? Is the talk of secularism all but lip service?... as we were about to reach the temple it seemed that people got this charge in them and then the usual rounds of dhukka mukki started with water on the floor and monkeys up above looking for Prasad I hardly got a chance to see the shrine. As much as I was relieved to be alive I felt that all that I endured for this little visit ultimately ended with me folding my hands and giving my regards and praying to conglomeration of devotees elbowing each other to give their Prasad to the panditji and guards deflecting them away from the shrine rather than the shrine itself.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
NO country for music
I was just shuffling my i pod that i realized my liking for Pakistani music .....it seems weird but i have far more songs by Pakistani artists than Indian artists...and i don't feel that its something wrong ...
i have liked the likes of jal ,strings ,fuzon , junoon and other such artists from quite a long time...and i don't feel bad admitting that somehow Pakistani pop or fusion music is in a way better than Indian pop music...as is the fact that Indian cinema is far better than its Pakistani counterpart...its not a point of dispute or argument but more about acknowledging the things..People in Pakistan are way more bonkers over Indian movies than us and far less critical about the movies than us..and here we give the Pakistani singers more admiration than they get in their country.. All of us are indebted to people from across the border who have lent their voices to the movies and made them such a hit,its surely a deadly combo Indian cinema +Pakistani singing .....perhaps that's the reason why there has been this wave of Pakistani artist coming to India for mainstream commercial action...i mean they get acknowledgment ,fame and much more money..people revere them ,whereas in their own country the bands as junoon have always courted controversy for the kind of music they play..i feel that's the reason for there passion for music ..its like when you are subjected to so much subjugation that you feel more strongly about the things. Music was in a way always like that...with the times when music and music videos were banned in Pakistan in the 80s the music kind of came back with a force and rigor after the ban with bands exploding on the Asian circuit...strings and junoon most prominently..i remember listening to sayonee way back when i was a kid ,the music video seemed weird to me that time but the music was even then contagious...
The whole Sufi impact is there to be seen...the music is more about the soul...the voices are better and original from nusrat fateh ali khan and abida parveen to strings and rahat fateh ali khan ,there is this simplicity and easiness about the songs ...i can go on about the charm of their music......there have been so many occasions in my life that the songs are always running in the back of my mind ,are on the tip of my tongue...totally express my feelings at that time.....Times when you don't feel like sharing anything with anybody ,you find refuge in the music ...these are THOSE kind of songs..
Despite all the persistent problems in the country the music is still blooming and reaching out of Pakistan to show that everything is not as murky as thought of...
i have liked the likes of jal ,strings ,fuzon , junoon and other such artists from quite a long time...and i don't feel bad admitting that somehow Pakistani pop or fusion music is in a way better than Indian pop music...as is the fact that Indian cinema is far better than its Pakistani counterpart...its not a point of dispute or argument but more about acknowledging the things..People in Pakistan are way more bonkers over Indian movies than us and far less critical about the movies than us..and here we give the Pakistani singers more admiration than they get in their country.. All of us are indebted to people from across the border who have lent their voices to the movies and made them such a hit,its surely a deadly combo Indian cinema +Pakistani singing .....perhaps that's the reason why there has been this wave of Pakistani artist coming to India for mainstream commercial action...i mean they get acknowledgment ,fame and much more money..people revere them ,whereas in their own country the bands as junoon have always courted controversy for the kind of music they play..i feel that's the reason for there passion for music ..its like when you are subjected to so much subjugation that you feel more strongly about the things. Music was in a way always like that...with the times when music and music videos were banned in Pakistan in the 80s the music kind of came back with a force and rigor after the ban with bands exploding on the Asian circuit...strings and junoon most prominently..i remember listening to sayonee way back when i was a kid ,the music video seemed weird to me that time but the music was even then contagious...
The whole Sufi impact is there to be seen...the music is more about the soul...the voices are better and original from nusrat fateh ali khan and abida parveen to strings and rahat fateh ali khan ,there is this simplicity and easiness about the songs ...i can go on about the charm of their music......there have been so many occasions in my life that the songs are always running in the back of my mind ,are on the tip of my tongue...totally express my feelings at that time.....Times when you don't feel like sharing anything with anybody ,you find refuge in the music ...these are THOSE kind of songs..
Despite all the persistent problems in the country the music is still blooming and reaching out of Pakistan to show that everything is not as murky as thought of...
Monday, August 2, 2010
peek...peek a pi..peek a boo
There are times when you evolve so does the meaning of the word or perhaps words that you know…this is about such a situation
Scene 1. (In school, kidding with friends) …..Suddenly I get pissed off with a friend for her constant meddling in my business and trying to show off my vocab I term her as a VOYEUR…that was a new word for me then… having it heard from José mourinho and obviously at ‘CERTAIN’ sites…it was something that was impulsive and at that moment I felt totally right using the word…perhaps not as factually but in a way to describe the intrusion..And then they tried to see the meaning of the word and soon they were like yuck…chhhi…haw jee…etc etc…I was least bothered then but after sometime I realized that perhaps I shouldn’t have used the word just for the sake of it but still I felt that I was right in using it…I mean its not only about the carnal connotations that it emphasizes on …Its more about seeking into somebody’s privacy..But I grew more of guilty conscious that time seeing the reactions...I even apologized...And I became cautious of the power of words and their overtones and a bit uncertain …
Scene 2. (Reading Mr. Rushdie) about how the whole world in a way examined and scrutinized lady Diana’s death and the allegations and affair that surrounded it… evading somebody’s privacy , trying to get the in depth knowledge about the whole incident… in a way the whole incident was caused by this urge to know about lady Diana and her secret lover when paparazzi followed them as they took off trying to get away from the shutter bags for their eventual ride as we all saw them get trampled in their car on a highway .In fact certain claims suggest that few photographers clicked pics of the dying princess …and were arrested too …it was voyeurism at its nastiest it was the curse of being famous…for me it was a thing to be despised
Scene 3. (Now watching dimpy and rahul mahajan and the whole fracas)...I feel voyeur is a global term and quite a big trait of human race today…there is a sense of voyeurism in everyone of us….I don’t feel shame or pride confessing that I too feel voyeuristic quite a lot of time….its hard to take out voyeurism from our lives…with so much of access into everyone’s life we are all bound to be peek in others life ,sometimes for our vicarious pleasures ,sometimes to find solace of the fact that we are in a better situation than others ,sometimes to get away from the monotony of one’s own life ,sometimes just like that …because we have grown accustomed to seeking into other people’s life … its not just about the celebrity status… internet is a voyeur’s paradise… I mean with so many social networking sites it’s as easy as it gets...its more of acceptance than anything else that news channels broadcast a petty spat between a glory hunting couple and we all are more than happy to join in…...so take a peek …
Scene 1. (In school, kidding with friends) …..Suddenly I get pissed off with a friend for her constant meddling in my business and trying to show off my vocab I term her as a VOYEUR…that was a new word for me then… having it heard from José mourinho and obviously at ‘CERTAIN’ sites…it was something that was impulsive and at that moment I felt totally right using the word…perhaps not as factually but in a way to describe the intrusion..And then they tried to see the meaning of the word and soon they were like yuck…chhhi…haw jee…etc etc…I was least bothered then but after sometime I realized that perhaps I shouldn’t have used the word just for the sake of it but still I felt that I was right in using it…I mean its not only about the carnal connotations that it emphasizes on …Its more about seeking into somebody’s privacy..But I grew more of guilty conscious that time seeing the reactions...I even apologized...And I became cautious of the power of words and their overtones and a bit uncertain …
Scene 2. (Reading Mr. Rushdie) about how the whole world in a way examined and scrutinized lady Diana’s death and the allegations and affair that surrounded it… evading somebody’s privacy , trying to get the in depth knowledge about the whole incident… in a way the whole incident was caused by this urge to know about lady Diana and her secret lover when paparazzi followed them as they took off trying to get away from the shutter bags for their eventual ride as we all saw them get trampled in their car on a highway .In fact certain claims suggest that few photographers clicked pics of the dying princess …and were arrested too …it was voyeurism at its nastiest it was the curse of being famous…for me it was a thing to be despised
Scene 3. (Now watching dimpy and rahul mahajan and the whole fracas)...I feel voyeur is a global term and quite a big trait of human race today…there is a sense of voyeurism in everyone of us….I don’t feel shame or pride confessing that I too feel voyeuristic quite a lot of time….its hard to take out voyeurism from our lives…with so much of access into everyone’s life we are all bound to be peek in others life ,sometimes for our vicarious pleasures ,sometimes to find solace of the fact that we are in a better situation than others ,sometimes to get away from the monotony of one’s own life ,sometimes just like that …because we have grown accustomed to seeking into other people’s life … its not just about the celebrity status… internet is a voyeur’s paradise… I mean with so many social networking sites it’s as easy as it gets...its more of acceptance than anything else that news channels broadcast a petty spat between a glory hunting couple and we all are more than happy to join in…...so take a peek …
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
dabloo dabloo effff!!!!!!
I was so much intrigued by the whole wrestling thing when i was a kid , fighting with pillows and imagining myself fighting in the ring ...wrestlers were like my idols....i used to try like hell to raise my brows like rock... but soon i realized that its all make believe and lost interest in it...but recently i downloaded a wrestling podcast and realized some facts about the business.
Professional Wrestling is lot more than what we see on the surface .We are interested in seeing some heavy-duty fighting …see the face character ultimately win over the heel guy and be ENTERTAINED, it’s a simple equation for the viewers – they want their money’s worth in the ring .But the wrestlers have a tough task at their hand, they have to do the stuff week in week out, no getting away from the fact that its their bread and butter .Still the commitment and the effort that they put in to make it look 100% real and the way they put their body on the line in commendable .Lately there has been a growing trend of wrestlers dying young and mainly due to substance abuse and addiction to the prescription pills .The latest entry to this sad list is Umaga who died last December mainly due to the pills which proved fatal ,ultimately leading to heart attack .He was just 36 year old .This is not the only case ,there have been many such instances .More famous wrestlers like Eddie Guerrero (my personal favorite ),Chris benoit ,Andre the giant ,big bossman ,crash holly and recently the TEST , have all died of the same cause i.e. addiction to painkillers. This tells us how much stress is involved in the so called ENTERTAINMENT business, wrestlers seek some tranquility to get away from the physical and mental pain and then they became totally enslaved to these pills.
Is the wrestling business so tough that it propels the wrestlers to give up on life so easily? Or is it the case of wrestlers willingly falling in the pitfall, treading a path that has no way out. The stats show that a wrestler’s life expectancy is going down day by day ….hardly any wrestler lives till the age of 60 .This is the biggest blot on wwe’s global image. Some even blame the ringleader Vince McMahon for the tragic incidents and see him as money making businessman. Ironically, The deaths in the ‘fake ‘wrestling are not that fake.
P.S.- if you ever get a chance please watch Oscar nominated movie’ THE WRESTLER’ starring Mickey Rourke…Though it only shows what’s wrong with professional wrestling but surely it is an eye opener and shows the grim reality of the wrestling business .
Sunday, July 4, 2010
world cup and after
Football is getting everywhere these days .World cup has aroused the football spirit in everybody .Every body has a country to support to be more precise everybody NEEDS to support a team regardless of the fact whether they have any idea about what or whom they support . Its weird ,i mean this made me realize how much we wish to relate with something...as if having no favorites is like having no religion,you are somewhat of a refugee ... it is deemed sacrilegious.....you ought to be supporting one side or another...perhaps a passing fad but true, such are norms of society and peers that if you don't know about the world cup or have a team to support then you are nobody .That propels you to give in to the peer pressure coz deep inside we all want to be with people rather than living in isolation and we care about what people think about us.
Its a big time glory hunting thing ..i.e. the world cup...people change allegiance like a fair weather friend ...
Soon the world cup will be over and so will the hysteria related with it .I am so sick of all the things - people predicting their winners ,bloody octopuses predicting the winners ,parrots predicting the winners . Its all over the TV ,newspapers and social networking sites too....its really pisses me off,people updating their status after every goal ,every card ,every throw-in .And in the newspaper when u feel like reading a good article about footie u encounter mandira bedi trying to shove her footballing gyan ,which basically comprises of WAGS,English players and what the English media says about the footie .Thanx MS. bedi for your insights.
Another thing i don't know why but people call FIFA world cup as FIFA????....every where i go they are like 'are u following FIFA?' ...why the heck is cricket world cup not called ICC?????...that's beyond me..
some days back i watched this movie udaan...to explain it in one word it was RADICAL...i mean the whole thing of a ruptured family,bad parenting,rebel child and his dreams to fly high was good but it seemed a bit unrealistic though totally entertaining ...and i don't mind passing my time watching a movie like this ...
P.S.
At the end , world cup finals never matched the hype and was a depressing ,cagey ,boring and least expected finals of all. The only good thing was shakira shaking her booty....totally worth it...
This was supposed to be my 25th blog...silver jubilee kinda thing but never mind..and yeah i just read that people can be sued for what they write on blogger..where the phuck can we speak?? oh...sorrry for these defamatory words..think i must clean my act..
Its a big time glory hunting thing ..i.e. the world cup...people change allegiance like a fair weather friend ...
Soon the world cup will be over and so will the hysteria related with it .I am so sick of all the things - people predicting their winners ,bloody octopuses predicting the winners ,parrots predicting the winners . Its all over the TV ,newspapers and social networking sites too....its really pisses me off,people updating their status after every goal ,every card ,every throw-in .And in the newspaper when u feel like reading a good article about footie u encounter mandira bedi trying to shove her footballing gyan ,which basically comprises of WAGS,English players and what the English media says about the footie .Thanx MS. bedi for your insights.
Another thing i don't know why but people call FIFA world cup as FIFA????....every where i go they are like 'are u following FIFA?' ...why the heck is cricket world cup not called ICC?????...that's beyond me..
some days back i watched this movie udaan...to explain it in one word it was RADICAL...i mean the whole thing of a ruptured family,bad parenting,rebel child and his dreams to fly high was good but it seemed a bit unrealistic though totally entertaining ...and i don't mind passing my time watching a movie like this ...
P.S.
At the end , world cup finals never matched the hype and was a depressing ,cagey ,boring and least expected finals of all. The only good thing was shakira shaking her booty....totally worth it...
This was supposed to be my 25th blog...silver jubilee kinda thing but never mind..and yeah i just read that people can be sued for what they write on blogger..where the phuck can we speak?? oh...sorrry for these defamatory words..think i must clean my act..
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
THE jaundice DIARY
this is a time i really didn't wanted coz i dont know if i am fit to write or not and should i be writing here or somewhere else because i had so much in mind ,i had so much to erase or to say overlap,and so much to construct...but now its all weird ...coz i feel feeble ,dispirited and perhaps lunacy will soon creep in...coz i hardly think and think am perhaps making a little sense.All i do is lie down on bed ,sleep,read or try to write and get my mind off pc,net and tv.i watched the basketball diaries...it really killed me..i mean certain scenes were like real and distracting.. i really like this kind of stuff...real stuff ..stuff pertaining to adolescence ,young adults..i connect to these things,wish to emulate them.In the movie this guy gets into drugs and subsequently is thrown out of school,destroys his career as a basketball player and has to leave his mum and home and starts stealing in order to do drugs.there is this scene when the boy is out of money and his urge to do drugs is so much ,he goes back to his mom and persuades her to give him some..His mom knows and for his benefit declines...at this moment he's so helpless and inclined to it and cannot do without it...it really is disturbing..the desperation is too much.He's like willing to do anything for a dose of it.ultimately his mum calls 911 and the lad is taken away.Its really tough on her part...how can a mom do it,coz i dont think she did anything wrong but the fact that she was hard willed and courageous enough.i mean most of us would have given in to the cries and pants of a helpless loved one..but unfortunately the urge gets better of the guy and he indulges in sodomy and gets paid to get his share of crack .
in another scene ,there is this frend of this boy who tries to get him off the trail..in order to do so he keeps him in his home locked and all.the initial days for him without dope are like real tough..he is like losing his senses,salivating and driven crazy by the lack of drugs..he is all sweaty and crying ..seeing this stuff you feel safe,aloof and good that you haven't fallen in the pitfall.
the only good thing about the movie is the boy's skill with the pen,i mean he writes these crazy diary entries ,poems and all WHICH EVENTUALLY TAKES HIM OUT OF THE MESS AND HE MAKES HIS NAME..AND THIS IS BASED ON TRUE INCIDENTS...BY JIM CARROLL .in one of them he tries to describe one of the dreams which is quite different and how he feels after taking drugs...it all seems weird.But now when all i do is sleep and eat and recuperate,i try to remember my dreams,wish to note hem down.the one that was really weird was when i had multiple dreams and they were all like on a computer os like window and all where i could just switch into one and come out of the other,minimize them and all.it all feels crazy but dreams are crazy ..thats why they dont really happen...perhaps may happen for some..but my dreams are always like someway or the other beyond reality...kinda crazy..The one before i began writing was about how my cousin told me about the time he had jaundice,he had smallpox too and....cant really describe it all coz it went berserk after this..totally senseless .The only conclusion i have got is that they are all made up of things u talk about ,have in mind in day time ,perhaps they remain in the subconscious and take their own shape.and they always present in a way u never expect,kinda like jigsaw puzzle and the level of detail is great.. and sometimes u rue on them not being the reality and other times you wish they always be a dream ....watever DREAM ON...
Monday, May 10, 2010
mother india
Boys being attached to their moms is a common phenomenon. i mean girls are like friends with sharing everything and all but no offence but son-mother relationships have a special bond...atleast that's the case with me.I really feel proud being the son of my maa .I mean i really salute her commitment , things she has gone through, coping with them,caring for each and every one of us .Its not one of those mama's boy thing but when i look back i really feel aw-inspired by her . And now with my di gone and she being all alone i feel bad coz i can try to fill the void yet i can't be a daughter to her,i accept and acknowledge it...moreover she's just a phone call away but still there remains a void.she's always been the sacrificial kind...towards everyone ..i dont really feel great about this now..i mean u cant be sacrificing always,throughout your life...it really frustrates me ..yet i feel helpless ..guess she's been conditioned like that..and perhaps each and every mother has been...i sometimes nag her for being like that and call her MOTHER INDIA...but seriously i feel like giving her back what all she has done.....Sometimes i feel incapable of myself..i dont want her to be like that..yesterday was mothers day..i am not that much into these kinda thing..yet still these things do make u realise importance of people..so just to seek a pov i asked my mate about his favourite memory bout his mom and he too told bout instances where she forgo her share so that her son would get more ..its too typical yet u feel wud u be able to do the same if given an option...perhaps u need to be a parent to feel that way ..
i remember a time when i was particularly low and i just requested her to give me a hug ...and i can assure u the problems may have persisted but i felt swell...and this a plea to anyone who reads this...if u ever feel down just look for a hug from a loved one and hold her/him tight ...am sure u will feel the change..seriously and i have been at both the ends of these hugs...it really makes a difference if done with feelings..people often think its like weird huggin an all ..its not a thing grown ups do...some think of them as a chore and do it for the sake of it .....please do not
Its wierd coz when i thought about writing this i was like all geared up but now i dont find words... its more about feeling than expressing..its about being unconditional..its about selflessness..its about seeing a tear and your urge to change the whole godamn world in order to make it better for her..
i only have this song which i wish to dedicate to maa...this like so great..the song...usually its like when i like a song i check out its lyrics and meaning and all but this song is different for me...there are no denotations and connotations..its just typical of wat i mean for her...and i really dont care if i am wrong
i remember a time when i was particularly low and i just requested her to give me a hug ...and i can assure u the problems may have persisted but i felt swell...and this a plea to anyone who reads this...if u ever feel down just look for a hug from a loved one and hold her/him tight ...am sure u will feel the change..seriously and i have been at both the ends of these hugs...it really makes a difference if done with feelings..people often think its like weird huggin an all ..its not a thing grown ups do...some think of them as a chore and do it for the sake of it .....please do not
Its wierd coz when i thought about writing this i was like all geared up but now i dont find words... its more about feeling than expressing..its about being unconditional..its about selflessness..its about seeing a tear and your urge to change the whole godamn world in order to make it better for her..
i only have this song which i wish to dedicate to maa...this like so great..the song...usually its like when i like a song i check out its lyrics and meaning and all but this song is different for me...there are no denotations and connotations..its just typical of wat i mean for her...and i really dont care if i am wrong
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
trip
THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A BIT EARLIER YET I WISH TO POST IT.....HAV BEEN OUT...BUT AM SURELY BACK
I need time…time to react…react to the surroundings…surroundings that are altered…alteration is necessary , it gives way to new …lets us break away from the rusting monotony..Provides us with a new viewpoint…changes our vision...Vision to see things that are around us…things that are ever changing... Changing with time…AND TIME IS NEEDED
The trip was really like a gateway…with the exams and all it was a needed break…though I never wanted this kind of unusual break…the break that I was looking forward to was more about staying up late in nights ,waking late…doing things at my pace…but this trip was so spontaneous that I never had time to ponder about …all I had to do was pack my bag and hit the road….I went to my di and jiju’s place and then got a chance to visit this total rudimentary village what we can describe as THETH GAON..so the journey there was like cool…the road trip…and the views bestowed by nature were truly new to me…to be frank I really am not into praising natural beauty but it felt different …perhaps it was coz of the book I’d that time i.e. the romantics by pankaj mishra…so I was partly inspired by pankaj mishra to atleast take in what nature offered….the best moment for me was passing through ganga at narora…it was like abundance all around…ganga getting channelized..But I had more to take in….on a more personal level...There were many things I realized...Its really nice to sit on the fence and soak in what I could learn because these occasions are rare, we are so much into our lives that we need these experiences...They perhaps help us in monitoring our own life ..Watching a family function, comparing it to your own and finding things that u feel can be done, perhaps alteration to self, to the ways.
Describing the village is tough for me …I never had the opportunity to visit one before …so the things I looked forwarded to were very stereotypical….things we get to see sitting in our living room and watching a documentary about the penury of these kind of place…the helplessness yet the ability to be happy with basics of life. I did find some of these things yet I was more taken aback by the prevalence of technology i.e. despite having proper roads and homes each one did have an electric appliance and mobile is a necessity there too. People were like too courteous for my liking..Perhaps I am not that social (barring fb..Where I have close to 100 friends …and mind you that’s a considerable number for a person like me). They were like too sweet and that reflected on the tea that they offered which was like 80% sugar…I guess its because they felt somehow good with our presence..i really cant explain it but they were happy to see someone from city caring enough to come down to there place and they showed their gratitude in their own way and with their own limited resources .It was weird …with so much hullabaloo about us …all those lil kids standing beside the car ,trying to feel it once …it was like we were some kinda big shot …people coming out of their houses to see who have come in a car..all in all it was a vip treatment for us plus some nice snaps around the mustard field and of people grazing their cattle and of poor lil kids with their running noses happy to be facing the flash …to show to our city friends about our day at a village…it was surely different but different is not always good neither is it bad but you can feel the change from a no one in the city to a someone for the village..The sights were different …the gobars all around, lush greenness, water from the hand pump, solemn faces of the tied cattle and last and least the weird govt. slogans of “tum mujhe shakti do , mein tumhe unnati dunga” which never complied….
I need time…time to react…react to the surroundings…surroundings that are altered…alteration is necessary , it gives way to new …lets us break away from the rusting monotony..Provides us with a new viewpoint…changes our vision...Vision to see things that are around us…things that are ever changing... Changing with time…AND TIME IS NEEDED
The trip was really like a gateway…with the exams and all it was a needed break…though I never wanted this kind of unusual break…the break that I was looking forward to was more about staying up late in nights ,waking late…doing things at my pace…but this trip was so spontaneous that I never had time to ponder about …all I had to do was pack my bag and hit the road….I went to my di and jiju’s place and then got a chance to visit this total rudimentary village what we can describe as THETH GAON..so the journey there was like cool…the road trip…and the views bestowed by nature were truly new to me…to be frank I really am not into praising natural beauty but it felt different …perhaps it was coz of the book I’d that time i.e. the romantics by pankaj mishra…so I was partly inspired by pankaj mishra to atleast take in what nature offered….the best moment for me was passing through ganga at narora…it was like abundance all around…ganga getting channelized..But I had more to take in….on a more personal level...There were many things I realized...Its really nice to sit on the fence and soak in what I could learn because these occasions are rare, we are so much into our lives that we need these experiences...They perhaps help us in monitoring our own life ..Watching a family function, comparing it to your own and finding things that u feel can be done, perhaps alteration to self, to the ways.
Describing the village is tough for me …I never had the opportunity to visit one before …so the things I looked forwarded to were very stereotypical….things we get to see sitting in our living room and watching a documentary about the penury of these kind of place…the helplessness yet the ability to be happy with basics of life. I did find some of these things yet I was more taken aback by the prevalence of technology i.e. despite having proper roads and homes each one did have an electric appliance and mobile is a necessity there too. People were like too courteous for my liking..Perhaps I am not that social (barring fb..Where I have close to 100 friends …and mind you that’s a considerable number for a person like me). They were like too sweet and that reflected on the tea that they offered which was like 80% sugar…I guess its because they felt somehow good with our presence..i really cant explain it but they were happy to see someone from city caring enough to come down to there place and they showed their gratitude in their own way and with their own limited resources .It was weird …with so much hullabaloo about us …all those lil kids standing beside the car ,trying to feel it once …it was like we were some kinda big shot …people coming out of their houses to see who have come in a car..all in all it was a vip treatment for us plus some nice snaps around the mustard field and of people grazing their cattle and of poor lil kids with their running noses happy to be facing the flash …to show to our city friends about our day at a village…it was surely different but different is not always good neither is it bad but you can feel the change from a no one in the city to a someone for the village..The sights were different …the gobars all around, lush greenness, water from the hand pump, solemn faces of the tied cattle and last and least the weird govt. slogans of “tum mujhe shakti do , mein tumhe unnati dunga” which never complied….
Friday, January 29, 2010
GET A GRIP
It feels that there’s so much welled up inside me that I really need to express it here. so many things yet I’ll be precise …the year kicked off on a high (literally) and it felt so great particularly thinking bout how the last year kicked off it was totally different this time . it was really nice having all my mates by my side, I thought this plan of a wild night out would probably fizzle out and it looked like that, but they all came and it was really a new year to remember …I do not wish to write elaborately bout the details coz I guess the best place for them is in memories rather than this blog probably they were gross too..But I still cherish them coz that’s what we are and that’s what we did …
Had my mid terms...Screwed them with pride…that’s the short of it …more of college.. It feels kind of comfortable now being in the college group…I feel everything is cementing nicely and I know there are issues but they don’t bother me ...people bitch and it gives me a nice reason to plug in my I pod but there are times when I ponder about things …really..i mean what’s the need to say these petty things behind somebody’s back when all u need to do is confront him/her and tell them your frank opinion and really if you call them frenz then why be afraid being honest to them for such small issues …there was this time when one of my mates on our way home was tellin about how ‘BEHAVING INTELLECTUAL’ one of the girls in our group was…I gave him a more refined term for it i.e. PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL which probably got stuck with them as they described her…later on I thought about it ..i felt awkward giving them this term…I thought isn’t it harsh to term somebody pseudo intellectual…I even wondered whether I was one in their eyes…and what exactly are the yard sticks to label one as intellectual or not ..Its a sticky issue..Now I feel that I need to be away from this word intellectual as I guess there are many things to justify...
There was this time when I was nearing my 18th birthday when I thought about writing about how I at that time felt that Its just the legality of being a major except that I’d encounter so many things that made me mature …soon this belief of mine dwindled…coz there is so much to life that encountered after being 18 that I thought I was probably too immature to say that …and now I feel that you need to be all aware and rooted to ground to face the situations in life…but there is a sense of lacking behind…there are things I really feel I’m ready to do…for instance driving ,though I’ve my learning license but I don’t feel like I’m prepared to do it …I feel that there’s too much hassle to it .same is the case with operating my bank account…these are things I’m least bothered about …I feel I am not in a position to do all these things…Its like letting your parents down though they are not that pestering about it but still I feel I am in this comfort zone, cocooned …where I need to change not for me but for others..
Just read pankaj mishra’s THE ROMANTICS…it was first time for me that I didn’t felt like emulating the writer but felt this strange sense of resemblance about his work …I found it worth reading though I really felt weird at the end coz closure is all he gets...but there were things in it which perhaps I felt connected to , ..Moreover FRIENDS has been a staple for me …it really has this charm ,this feel good effect that it provides, but somehow I feel that the life portrayed is like this utopian life that all of us want to lead…whatever it maybe it’s a good getaway, plus its given me guts to do things(thanx Joey tribbiani) …well this is the most I can write though I really wanted to describe my trip …a really out of the box trip ,but I guess it surely will have place in my next post….
P.S. –(THIS IS JUST FOR ME)…hombre’s got cojones…
Had my mid terms...Screwed them with pride…that’s the short of it …more of college.. It feels kind of comfortable now being in the college group…I feel everything is cementing nicely and I know there are issues but they don’t bother me ...people bitch and it gives me a nice reason to plug in my I pod but there are times when I ponder about things …really..i mean what’s the need to say these petty things behind somebody’s back when all u need to do is confront him/her and tell them your frank opinion and really if you call them frenz then why be afraid being honest to them for such small issues …there was this time when one of my mates on our way home was tellin about how ‘BEHAVING INTELLECTUAL’ one of the girls in our group was…I gave him a more refined term for it i.e. PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL which probably got stuck with them as they described her…later on I thought about it ..i felt awkward giving them this term…I thought isn’t it harsh to term somebody pseudo intellectual…I even wondered whether I was one in their eyes…and what exactly are the yard sticks to label one as intellectual or not ..Its a sticky issue..Now I feel that I need to be away from this word intellectual as I guess there are many things to justify...
There was this time when I was nearing my 18th birthday when I thought about writing about how I at that time felt that Its just the legality of being a major except that I’d encounter so many things that made me mature …soon this belief of mine dwindled…coz there is so much to life that encountered after being 18 that I thought I was probably too immature to say that …and now I feel that you need to be all aware and rooted to ground to face the situations in life…but there is a sense of lacking behind…there are things I really feel I’m ready to do…for instance driving ,though I’ve my learning license but I don’t feel like I’m prepared to do it …I feel that there’s too much hassle to it .same is the case with operating my bank account…these are things I’m least bothered about …I feel I am not in a position to do all these things…Its like letting your parents down though they are not that pestering about it but still I feel I am in this comfort zone, cocooned …where I need to change not for me but for others..
Just read pankaj mishra’s THE ROMANTICS…it was first time for me that I didn’t felt like emulating the writer but felt this strange sense of resemblance about his work …I found it worth reading though I really felt weird at the end coz closure is all he gets...but there were things in it which perhaps I felt connected to , ..Moreover FRIENDS has been a staple for me …it really has this charm ,this feel good effect that it provides, but somehow I feel that the life portrayed is like this utopian life that all of us want to lead…whatever it maybe it’s a good getaway, plus its given me guts to do things(thanx Joey tribbiani) …well this is the most I can write though I really wanted to describe my trip …a really out of the box trip ,but I guess it surely will have place in my next post….
P.S. –(THIS IS JUST FOR ME)…hombre’s got cojones…
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