Boys being attached to their moms is a common phenomenon. i mean girls are like friends with sharing everything and all but no offence but son-mother relationships have a special bond...atleast that's the case with me.I really feel proud being the son of my maa .I mean i really salute her commitment , things she has gone through, coping with them,caring for each and every one of us .Its not one of those mama's boy thing but when i look back i really feel aw-inspired by her . And now with my di gone and she being all alone i feel bad coz i can try to fill the void yet i can't be a daughter to her,i accept and acknowledge it...moreover she's just a phone call away but still there remains a void.she's always been the sacrificial kind...towards everyone ..i dont really feel great about this now..i mean u cant be sacrificing always,throughout your life...it really frustrates me ..yet i feel helpless ..guess she's been conditioned like that..and perhaps each and every mother has been...i sometimes nag her for being like that and call her MOTHER INDIA...but seriously i feel like giving her back what all she has done.....Sometimes i feel incapable of myself..i dont want her to be like that..yesterday was mothers day..i am not that much into these kinda thing..yet still these things do make u realise importance of people..so just to seek a pov i asked my mate about his favourite memory bout his mom and he too told bout instances where she forgo her share so that her son would get more ..its too typical yet u feel wud u be able to do the same if given an option...perhaps u need to be a parent to feel that way ..
i remember a time when i was particularly low and i just requested her to give me a hug ...and i can assure u the problems may have persisted but i felt swell...and this a plea to anyone who reads this...if u ever feel down just look for a hug from a loved one and hold her/him tight ...am sure u will feel the change..seriously and i have been at both the ends of these hugs...it really makes a difference if done with feelings..people often think its like weird huggin an all ..its not a thing grown ups do...some think of them as a chore and do it for the sake of it .....please do not
Its wierd coz when i thought about writing this i was like all geared up but now i dont find words... its more about feeling than expressing..its about being unconditional..its about selflessness..its about seeing a tear and your urge to change the whole godamn world in order to make it better for her..
i only have this song which i wish to dedicate to maa...this like so great..the song...usually its like when i like a song i check out its lyrics and meaning and all but this song is different for me...there are no denotations and connotations..its just typical of wat i mean for her...and i really dont care if i am wrong
Monday, May 10, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
trip
THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A BIT EARLIER YET I WISH TO POST IT.....HAV BEEN OUT...BUT AM SURELY BACK
I need time…time to react…react to the surroundings…surroundings that are altered…alteration is necessary , it gives way to new …lets us break away from the rusting monotony..Provides us with a new viewpoint…changes our vision...Vision to see things that are around us…things that are ever changing... Changing with time…AND TIME IS NEEDED
The trip was really like a gateway…with the exams and all it was a needed break…though I never wanted this kind of unusual break…the break that I was looking forward to was more about staying up late in nights ,waking late…doing things at my pace…but this trip was so spontaneous that I never had time to ponder about …all I had to do was pack my bag and hit the road….I went to my di and jiju’s place and then got a chance to visit this total rudimentary village what we can describe as THETH GAON..so the journey there was like cool…the road trip…and the views bestowed by nature were truly new to me…to be frank I really am not into praising natural beauty but it felt different …perhaps it was coz of the book I’d that time i.e. the romantics by pankaj mishra…so I was partly inspired by pankaj mishra to atleast take in what nature offered….the best moment for me was passing through ganga at narora…it was like abundance all around…ganga getting channelized..But I had more to take in….on a more personal level...There were many things I realized...Its really nice to sit on the fence and soak in what I could learn because these occasions are rare, we are so much into our lives that we need these experiences...They perhaps help us in monitoring our own life ..Watching a family function, comparing it to your own and finding things that u feel can be done, perhaps alteration to self, to the ways.
Describing the village is tough for me …I never had the opportunity to visit one before …so the things I looked forwarded to were very stereotypical….things we get to see sitting in our living room and watching a documentary about the penury of these kind of place…the helplessness yet the ability to be happy with basics of life. I did find some of these things yet I was more taken aback by the prevalence of technology i.e. despite having proper roads and homes each one did have an electric appliance and mobile is a necessity there too. People were like too courteous for my liking..Perhaps I am not that social (barring fb..Where I have close to 100 friends …and mind you that’s a considerable number for a person like me). They were like too sweet and that reflected on the tea that they offered which was like 80% sugar…I guess its because they felt somehow good with our presence..i really cant explain it but they were happy to see someone from city caring enough to come down to there place and they showed their gratitude in their own way and with their own limited resources .It was weird …with so much hullabaloo about us …all those lil kids standing beside the car ,trying to feel it once …it was like we were some kinda big shot …people coming out of their houses to see who have come in a car..all in all it was a vip treatment for us plus some nice snaps around the mustard field and of people grazing their cattle and of poor lil kids with their running noses happy to be facing the flash …to show to our city friends about our day at a village…it was surely different but different is not always good neither is it bad but you can feel the change from a no one in the city to a someone for the village..The sights were different …the gobars all around, lush greenness, water from the hand pump, solemn faces of the tied cattle and last and least the weird govt. slogans of “tum mujhe shakti do , mein tumhe unnati dunga” which never complied….
I need time…time to react…react to the surroundings…surroundings that are altered…alteration is necessary , it gives way to new …lets us break away from the rusting monotony..Provides us with a new viewpoint…changes our vision...Vision to see things that are around us…things that are ever changing... Changing with time…AND TIME IS NEEDED
The trip was really like a gateway…with the exams and all it was a needed break…though I never wanted this kind of unusual break…the break that I was looking forward to was more about staying up late in nights ,waking late…doing things at my pace…but this trip was so spontaneous that I never had time to ponder about …all I had to do was pack my bag and hit the road….I went to my di and jiju’s place and then got a chance to visit this total rudimentary village what we can describe as THETH GAON..so the journey there was like cool…the road trip…and the views bestowed by nature were truly new to me…to be frank I really am not into praising natural beauty but it felt different …perhaps it was coz of the book I’d that time i.e. the romantics by pankaj mishra…so I was partly inspired by pankaj mishra to atleast take in what nature offered….the best moment for me was passing through ganga at narora…it was like abundance all around…ganga getting channelized..But I had more to take in….on a more personal level...There were many things I realized...Its really nice to sit on the fence and soak in what I could learn because these occasions are rare, we are so much into our lives that we need these experiences...They perhaps help us in monitoring our own life ..Watching a family function, comparing it to your own and finding things that u feel can be done, perhaps alteration to self, to the ways.
Describing the village is tough for me …I never had the opportunity to visit one before …so the things I looked forwarded to were very stereotypical….things we get to see sitting in our living room and watching a documentary about the penury of these kind of place…the helplessness yet the ability to be happy with basics of life. I did find some of these things yet I was more taken aback by the prevalence of technology i.e. despite having proper roads and homes each one did have an electric appliance and mobile is a necessity there too. People were like too courteous for my liking..Perhaps I am not that social (barring fb..Where I have close to 100 friends …and mind you that’s a considerable number for a person like me). They were like too sweet and that reflected on the tea that they offered which was like 80% sugar…I guess its because they felt somehow good with our presence..i really cant explain it but they were happy to see someone from city caring enough to come down to there place and they showed their gratitude in their own way and with their own limited resources .It was weird …with so much hullabaloo about us …all those lil kids standing beside the car ,trying to feel it once …it was like we were some kinda big shot …people coming out of their houses to see who have come in a car..all in all it was a vip treatment for us plus some nice snaps around the mustard field and of people grazing their cattle and of poor lil kids with their running noses happy to be facing the flash …to show to our city friends about our day at a village…it was surely different but different is not always good neither is it bad but you can feel the change from a no one in the city to a someone for the village..The sights were different …the gobars all around, lush greenness, water from the hand pump, solemn faces of the tied cattle and last and least the weird govt. slogans of “tum mujhe shakti do , mein tumhe unnati dunga” which never complied….
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