DRAINAGE

These last fifteen days have been drainage period for me ...........evrything,big or small,surprise or shock has just drained through me.i dont feel holdin anybit .As if i have developed an antidote myself....but exceptions are always there...there has been one thing i hav been holdin and that too for a quite a long time .... a blog....well no hype needed(i'll be out with it within days.....maybe weeks....maybe months...maybe never...)..things have gone past me in a jiffy...i never had the time to feel,enjoy,cry over,rue,crib,contemplate,judge,nurture,caress any feeling....if i have to start with a list of things .....first would be...my results....yes,i overdid all my expectations yet i was happy just for moment or so,and i forgot abt it as if i was to gulp-in a sad ,grim reality....next....fights,arguements,grudges....i fail to reconcile any of my thoughts....i seem to lose....lose everything and everyone.....for instance...mr. anil srivatsa...gem of a presenter....idol of a sort...gone...poof...no hassles....things going wrong ,i going wrong...NO HASSLES....i have been in this pumpkin of a state..no reaction,no action,dont worry be happy....maybe...i'm too absent -minded,or even busy,but it has got into me...knowingly or unknowingly...i dont care what passes me by....have i become to egoistic or is introvert the word or maybe introspective but whatever...continuing with the list ...my injury- didnt cared for it from the start and now god knows when will it vanish...now i am drained of all my list coz i really dont remember wat else has been drained from my system....really draining....more importantly i really would not wish to term this as a venting blog coz this aint like me and this is not like clearing my mind...or getting it out of the system ,on the contrary its getting something into the system so i sustain it ,look at things with more of logic ,reasoning,be more reasonable....try to put things into perspective....look to question the answers and answer the question....its like a humble existence that i am no longer in need of ,curfew of a sort been bogged down.....its ironic the past few months when it was all so hectic all so meaningfull i.e me, boards, marks,college,ambitions,pride,expectations,memories,creativity....but now its all lame ,lame to the core , the core which is hollow within...and holocaust on the horizon,holocaust of a sort,holocaust of meanings , wants ,needs,liking,disliking.......well too much......this is really exhaustive...but i want to be meaningful...atleast