It feels that there’s so much welled up inside me that I really need to express it here. so many things yet I’ll be precise …the year kicked off on a high (literally) and it felt so great particularly thinking bout how the last year kicked off it was totally different this time . it was really nice having all my mates by my side, I thought this plan of a wild night out would probably fizzle out and it looked like that, but they all came and it was really a new year to remember …I do not wish to write elaborately bout the details coz I guess the best place for them is in memories rather than this blog probably they were gross too..But I still cherish them coz that’s what we are and that’s what we did …
Had my mid terms...Screwed them with pride…that’s the short of it …more of college.. It feels kind of comfortable now being in the college group…I feel everything is cementing nicely and I know there are issues but they don’t bother me ...people bitch and it gives me a nice reason to plug in my I pod but there are times when I ponder about things …really..i mean what’s the need to say these petty things behind somebody’s back when all u need to do is confront him/her and tell them your frank opinion and really if you call them frenz then why be afraid being honest to them for such small issues …there was this time when one of my mates on our way home was tellin about how ‘BEHAVING INTELLECTUAL’ one of the girls in our group was…I gave him a more refined term for it i.e. PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL which probably got stuck with them as they described her…later on I thought about it ..i felt awkward giving them this term…I thought isn’t it harsh to term somebody pseudo intellectual…I even wondered whether I was one in their eyes…and what exactly are the yard sticks to label one as intellectual or not ..Its a sticky issue..Now I feel that I need to be away from this word intellectual as I guess there are many things to justify...
There was this time when I was nearing my 18th birthday when I thought about writing about how I at that time felt that Its just the legality of being a major except that I’d encounter so many things that made me mature …soon this belief of mine dwindled…coz there is so much to life that encountered after being 18 that I thought I was probably too immature to say that …and now I feel that you need to be all aware and rooted to ground to face the situations in life…but there is a sense of lacking behind…there are things I really feel I’m ready to do…for instance driving ,though I’ve my learning license but I don’t feel like I’m prepared to do it …I feel that there’s too much hassle to it .same is the case with operating my bank account…these are things I’m least bothered about …I feel I am not in a position to do all these things…Its like letting your parents down though they are not that pestering about it but still I feel I am in this comfort zone, cocooned …where I need to change not for me but for others..
Just read pankaj mishra’s THE ROMANTICS…it was first time for me that I didn’t felt like emulating the writer but felt this strange sense of resemblance about his work …I found it worth reading though I really felt weird at the end coz closure is all he gets...but there were things in it which perhaps I felt connected to , ..Moreover FRIENDS has been a staple for me …it really has this charm ,this feel good effect that it provides, but somehow I feel that the life portrayed is like this utopian life that all of us want to lead…whatever it maybe it’s a good getaway, plus its given me guts to do things(thanx Joey tribbiani) …well this is the most I can write though I really wanted to describe my trip …a really out of the box trip ,but I guess it surely will have place in my next post….
P.S. –(THIS IS JUST FOR ME)…hombre’s got cojones…
